The False Promise of Zero Email Friday

The Scoop has spent part of the day pondering the idea of "Zero Email Friday," which is, according to USA Today, a new liberation movement sweeping corporate America.

The concept? We are so overwhelmed by email that we need a full day to catch up on the “real” work we should have done the other four work days when we were reading our email.

And since electronic communications can be a crutch, we would all benefit from a weekly opportunity to practice our in-person charm skills.

Friday, in effect, would be an email no-fire zone.

At first blush, I thought this would be an interesting, and possibly productive change. But then I started to think about the real problems I have with email, like the fact that some people do not reply in a timely manner (or at all), many only use the medium as an electronic form of ass-covering, others copy me on items I don't EVER care to know about, a lot write poorly, a smaller number always come across as unprofessional, rude or offensive, a special few send blindingly useless announcements to ENTIRE distribution lists and an even more recalcitrant minority send boatloads of pesky SPAM.

So would taking off Friday really stop any of these time-consuming annoyances?

Or will I still hear in real-time when the third floor printer in the human resources department, on another continent, gets a new magenta toner?

The Scoop thinks it is not only unlikely, but totally improbable.

When it boils down to it, you can’t end stupidity, unreliability or disrespect by simply banning the particular medium in which it is expressed.

People who use the “your email must have been caught in my SPAM filter” excuse to cover their own arses will just find new ways to let you down. On Fridays, they’ll perfect the art of weaseling out IN-PERSON.

And what about those really challenged folks that use email to hurl missives from their self-imposed caves? The Scoop thinks most of these people are in caves for a reason, and it is better for humanity that they stay there Monday through Friday. Especially if they are like this guy.

And what about our friends the spammers? Will they accept this new form of “casual communications” Friday?

The Scoop thinks they are about as likely to stop sending junk email as the liberal-progressive majority on the Missoula City Council.

Some people won’t change after having their names and embarrassing habits splashed across the front page of the local newspaper.

Declaring an end to email one day a week doesn’t get to the root of the judgment problem that is the heart of each of these offenses.

These offenders will simply find another medium in which to express their “art”, while the rest of us will just become a little less productive.